| I'm a highly sensitive and profound person with mental difficulties. Swinging wildly between euphoria and torment from day to day, my works — drawings, poems, stories, photographs — express a wide variety of wildly swinging moods. Manic one month and depressed the next, my creativity is both an outlet for my emotions as well as a medium to enrich them. I am loyal in everything I do to my quest for beauty, seeking for it every moment. I find beauty in everything. Sometimes, it is bright, warm, soft and gentle, like a clear summer sky; sometimes, it is terrible, dark, cold, hard, terrible, like a thunderous arctic blizzard. Everything I do, I try to do with my whole heart. Be it in suffering or in enjoyment, I seek to experience everything as entirely as possible. Sometimes, I have a firm faith in beauty, believing with all my heart that it will save the world; I then feel certain that all of us are destined to be united with the universe. Everything then feels as if it has purpose, purpose to come closer to that infinity. But sometimes, I lose all faith and it seems sure that all the world is doomed; I then feel certain that we're all destined to fade forever. Everything then feels random. I feel very connected to the rest of the world, and all its joys and sufferings affect me deeply. I can feel others' feelings as though they were my own, and just catching a glimpse of people in anguish or in rapture can change my mood at once. Whether it be around me or infinitely far away, the world beside myself pulls me down and raises me up no matter how lucky or unfortunate I may feel to be myself. Any wrong thought, and I suffer incredibly, as though in my mind I travel through existence. My imagination is so vivid that sometimes anything I imagine feels as real as life, especially when I am meditating. Often when I am dreaming at night I feel I am actually daydreaming. When I've got a lot of adrenaline, for example when I've just watched a thriller, or when I've got a lot of serotonin, for example when I'm drifting off to sleep or, as said, when I'm meditating, I have very vivid closed-eye visuals. The outside world feels as if it is part of me. At times it feels as if I bear the entire universe on my back, and the agonies and ecstasies it brings are ineffable. Sometimes, I am so full of energy that I am creative every single moment. On days such as these, when I do not have access to any means of expressing my creativity, I create inside my mind: I train my powers of visualization, or my sensory memory, or I philosophize. Sometimes, I feel so apathetic that I can literally barely move. Sometimes this lethargy comes over me so suddenly that I collapse to the floor and am unable to move without exerting enormous effort — a symptom I am aware is known as catatonia. My ideas of the world are very complex and intricately determine the way I experience the world. Though I'm not bound to any particular belief and am open to all possibilities, when I'm not feeling nihilistic I am a Singularitarian, believing that through knowledge we can achieve infinite and become one with the Universe. |
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amazing artist please see *Bernardumaine
CLUB*feature-me
open your third eye[link]
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Joshua Seven
Artistic Nude Model
Alone or Accompanied, Indoors, Outdoors, and in Your Studio
*Thank you for the Daily Deviations*
More images at ModelMayhem [link]
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My galleries: [link]
My poems: [link]
My writing: [link]
My ideas: [link]
My diary: [link]
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Joshua Seven
Artistic Nude Model
Alone or Accompanied, Indoors, Outdoors, and in Your Studio
*Thank you for the Daily Deviations*
More images at ModelMayhem [link]
--
My galleries: [link]
My poems: [link]
My writing: [link]
My ideas: [link]
My diary: [link]
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<3:[Zombie]:<3
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Check out my GALLERIES
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'Svera just suffers from perfectionismophilia.' *tanabatablossom
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